


i just want to love you (in my own language)

by K1zna



Category: TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, One Shot, i wrote this in like three hours what the fuck, lapslock, literal word vomit i just blacked out and when i woke up this was here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-17 16:32:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18102266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/K1zna/pseuds/K1zna
Summary: (previously titled "oh, these three worn words", new title as of 10/25/19)-hueningkai is lost.taehyun is alone....until they're not.





	i just want to love you (in my own language)

**Author's Note:**

> txt: debuted like a week ago  
> me, waking up in a cold sweat: i have to write a pining fic
> 
> thank you to my good friend ashe for beta-ing!

his breath hangs in the air longer than it should.

rising and falling, all hueningkai can feel is the pound, pound, pound inside of him and the dizziness that comes after stopping short like this.

the other members around him are the same, and beomgyu is the first to collapse onto the floor. dominoes fall after him.

"i can't believe," he wheezes, "that we're dancing  _this hard_ for our debut."

"it's better like this." yeonjun certainly doesn't  _look_ any better than he did earlier - quite the contrary - but hueningkai knows that it's true. the better their debut now, the easier things will be for them later.

soobin sits up, and hueningkai can tell from the sound he makes as he does so that their leader is on his last leg.

"i think," he states, "we're done for today."

taehyun whoops loudly from where he remains sprawled out on the practice room's floor and weakly shoots a fist into the air that crumbles back down soon after. beomgyu softly mutters his thanks, and hueningkai just smiles, huffing out a soft grateful breath.

yeonjun gathers his things and waits for soobin to finish up as well before the two head out together. beomgyu cutely waves goodbye to the other two maknaes before leaving as well, suddenly reinvigorated despite his prior lack of energy.

that leaves hueningkai and taehyun sprawled out on the floor together, and  _oh shit hueningkai and taehyun are alone in the room right now_.

hueningkai's breath picks back up, and he curses his body's involuntary reactions because it was just starting to finally calm down.

"my legs," taehyun suddenly cuts through the silence and hueningkai is just a little startled, "have fallen off."

hueningkai takes a moment to process this before he barks out a laugh, curling up a little from the intensity of it.

"no, really," taehyun insists, "i need an ambulance. call 119." hueningkai plays along, rolling onto his side to stretch out for his phone, stuck in a bag on a bench across the room.

"i would," he says, "but my arms disappeared. we're trapped here forever."

taehyun faux gasps. "oh no," he whispers, "we're going to miss soobin-hyung and yeonjun-hyung's daily yelling session."

hueningkai can't help but laugh again. he really shouldn't flush as much as he does; taehyun is funny. hueningkai is just laughing at his hyung's funny joke. no reason to be ashamed. this is normal.

taehyun sits up, and hueningkai rushes to do the same.

"what time is it?" taehyun asks. hueningkai frowns at a clock on the wall.

"uhh... it's one of them," he says. taehyun cocks an eyebrow.

"one of what?"

"time."

the older's lips quirk and hueningkai feels pride like never before at his hyung's straining to prevent laughter. 

"asshole," taehyun starts, crawling over to hueningkai. "idiot. bastard. i can't believe i ever trusted you with anything." he accentuates each word with a light mock punch, and hueningkai dissolves into giggles.

"dummy," taehyun continues. "goblin. baby."

hueningkai hiccups.

taehyun ceases his assault on hueningkai, tilting his head at the maknae's change in demeanor. "uh, kai, you good?"

hueningkai, eyes wider than he ever thought they could be, stutters over his two-word response, somehow. "u-uh - yeah, hyung."

taehyun, either through intensive detective work or through being a human being with eyes that can see the look on hueningkai's face, does not buy it.

"did i - did i do something?"

"no!" hueningkai whirls around before he tells himself to. "no, hyung, you did nothing wrong." in his panic, hueningkai doesn't realize what he's just done.

but taehyun does.

hueningkai frowns when he sees the light flush that had been fading as taehyun came back from their extensive dance practice return, blinking and tilting his head in confusion. taehyun's mouth is open, his jaw slack, which is nothing out of the ordinary. but it's enough to make hueningkai realize how close he has brought his face to taehyun's.

oh, god.

his eyes are right in front of him.

taehyun's eyes are like the night sky in the country, where the attention-hogging lights of the city don't push their way to the front, and the gems that people so rarely see and appreciate even less often are out in the open, glistening with all their might for whichever lucky pair of eyes catches even a glimpse of them. they demand so much attention, and hueningkai is giving them more than he has available.

then they shift and suddenly all light leaves them, leaving nothing but the dark chocolate backdrop. there's a completely different type of beauty there, where the vast blackness reaches out and wraps around him and washes away every bad feeling he's ever had, keeping him safe and warm in its embrace. this is softer, welcoming, and hueningkai melts in it.

it's the most beautiful dichotomy he has ever seen, and a parade of butterflies is organizing in his stomach, preparing for the biggest dance they'll ever have.

hueningkai is lost.

fuck, he should move.

and so hueningkai does, and he lets loose some of his tension feeling his body respond to the call.

it comes back with the force of a small truck when he realizes he's moving in the wrong direction.

taehyun's expression remains the same, the jaw-dropped face that appears whenever he's focused or confused. hueningkai's breath, holding on to the space it passes through, suddenly finds taehyun's face an acceptable location to find purchase on, and the elder's eyelids flutter a little bit at the sudden intrusion.

by some miracle, hueningkai regains control over himself in a sudden bout of strength, and yanks his head backward. taehyun remains in the same posistion, but his eyes, his goddamned eyes, follow the maknae.

"s-sorry," hueningkai breathes, barely hearing it himself. taehyun takes a second, opening and closing his mouth like a grounded fish, before his voice returns.

"ah," he gasps. "are you okay?"

hueningkai thinks he heard taehyun wrong there for a moment, but of course taehyun's first thought was about hueningkai, of  _course_ his concerns went right towards anyone but himself. the butterflies flutter their wings a little bit harder.

"i - yeah," hueningkai manages. "we're good." he says it more as a forceful statement to himself;  _we're still good. this doesn't change anything_.

taehyun nods empitly for a moment, and hueningkai isn't totally convinced that his hyung had even heard him then. fuck, fuck, did he break taehyun?

hueningkai, keeping his head down, swiftly gets to his feet and begins roughly shoving his things into the first bag he grabs. the air is still clinging to his breath, pulling him back into the room, back down to the floor where taehyun still sits, but hueningkai pushes himself towards the exit as hard as he can.

"uh, s... see you tomorrow, hyung," rushes out of his mouth, before hueningkai sprints out of the practice room.

numbly, taehyun brings a hand to his cheek where the last traces of hueningkai still linger.

꩜

taehyun has a lot of fun posting on twitter.

finally, they've been properly revealed; his nerves were on highest alert the day his introduction film was to be posted. he could barely single out any thoughts that day, swirling with hope and fears and wondering what the fans would say, wondering if he'd even  _have_ any fans, oh god what if they thought he looked weird? what if they thought the other members were enough and that they didn't need him? what if-

"hyung."

taehyun blinks at hueningkai, taking a moment to register his dongsaeng's face. "oh, hey, kai. what's up?" hueningkai raises his eyebrows.

"hyung, you are the most nervous person in the world."

taehyun thought he wouldn't have the energy to do anything but stress that day, but somehow a laugh escaped him.

"i'm at least 60 percent certain that people have stressed harder than i have."

"yeah, but right now, you're about to force us to move into new dorms 'cause you're about to set this one on fire from pacing so much." taehyun realizes his weight is shifting and steadies himself.

"so? you were just as bad the day you were introduced, kai."

"and for no reason. i'm still here, still okay, aren't i?"

taehyun sighs. "i hate it when you out logic me on this shit. _i'm_ supposed to be the hyung here, in case you forgot!"

"we're only, like, a few months apart hyung-" taehyun narrows his eyes at hueningkai and the younger cuts himself off, eyes shining with mirth.

"despite all that," he says, "you've gotta chill. sit down, at least. don't wear yourself out before we've even had our debut showcase."

taehyun can't find it in him to resist when hueningkai places his hands on taehyun's shoulders and guides him to the closest couch, where the two settle against each other.

he closes his eyes, steadying his breathing to match hueningkai's, when he feels his dongsaeng shift. taehyun lets one eye take a glance at what hueningkai is doing, and sees him pull out his phone.

"here," hueningkai says, handing it to taehyun. "so you can say hi to everyone after you're introduced."

taehyun takes the phone without much thought, opening the camera app from muscle memory alone. he frowns at the him that stares back from the screen.

taehyun looks back to hueningkai, seeing the younger watching taehyun with an expectant gaze. taehyun glances down, up, down, up again, but heuningkai is patient and doesn't say anything.

taehyun is less worried about the picture itself at this point and is fretting over a stray thought that somehow reached the front of taehyun's conciousness:  _take a selca with hueningkai_.

it's the smallest, most insignificant thought taehyun's ever had. friends take selcas together all the time. it'd be  _weird_ if taehyun and hueningkai didn't. and yet, when taehyun brings his eyes up to the patient, comfortable expression on hueningkai's face, when he catches the relaxed way his lips slightly part, his eyelids easily drooping just the smallest amount, his lashes glistening unnaturally but so perfectly, the idea of asking for such a favor becomes the most daunting thing taehyun could ever attempt.

and then hueningkai - brilliant, compassionate, loving hueningkai - reaches over and covers the hand that grips the phone with his own.

"do you wanna do it together?" he asks, like it's the simplest thing he's done in his life. taehyun can't find the words to reply (god, not even - just one word, yet it still escaped him), but he nods his head slowly, moving through molasses.

hueningkai holds the phone up, bringing taehyun's arm along, and adjusts the focus until it's perfect.

"ready?" he asks, and taehyun doesn't reply, but this time because hueningkai already knows the answer.

they take about six together, and spend ten minutes flicking through, narrowing down the contestants until two remain. seeing the two of them together like that, so relaxed and natural like being together is the only thing they know how to do, sets taehyun's heart asunder. the way hueningkai's smile adorns him like the most beautiful gemstones, the comfort taehyun gets just from the memory of hueningkai's stabilitating touch on his side, the way the two slot together so naturally -

taehyun could stare at those pictures forever.

but it's hueningkai's phone, and the boy does need it back for several reasons, so taehyun reluctantly returns it. the smile hueningkai graces taehyun with in return suddenly makes it okay again.

"...thank you, kai," taehyun forces out. the voice that comes out of him is timid and weak, tired and already asleep. hueningkai remains as effervescent as ever, the lights in his eyes flashing like the sun when it rises.

"anything for you, hyung," he says so, so sincerely. taehyun is a bit taken aback by the authenticity of the reply, feeling something expand in his chest like a balloon about to pop.

when taehyun is revealed to the world, he is received so well, and he hugs hueningkai in relief and joy after reading only a few positive comments. he posts on twitter later; first a selca by himself, and then the ones he took with hueningkai. when they're posted for all to see, it somehow lightens taehyun's heart, knowing that they can show the universe their connection and be reaffirmed that it's beautiful.

so yeah, taehyun loves posting on twitter.

hueningkai really likes it when taehyun posts, too, because it gives him a lot of new wallpapers to set.

**Author's Note:**

> i will herald hueningkai x taehyun my goddamn self if i have to  
> what would their ship name even be,, hueningtae? taehyunkai? hyuningkai???? leave your answers in the comments below and don't forget to like comment and subsc  
> [here's my tumblr](k1zna.tumblr.com) so that you can yell at me in my inbox and ask when the fuck i'm gonna update any of my fics (SOON i'm posting my big project SOON i SWEAR!!!)  
> title is from 3ww by alt-j  
> comments and kudos are the only things keeping me alive and ily <3


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